Star Karasik

Star Karasik

I crave the opportunity to fall perfectly in your glance
For you to finally notice my soft presence
I am a mere being in your universe
And you are a soft figure I can rest my eyes on
I like your messy curls
I like your deep green eyes
I like your pocket-sized hands
I like the way your lips purse when you look at me
I like the way your babydoll dress sways when you walk
I like how my name sounds when you say it
I like how your name slips off my tongue
I like you
I didn’t understand why you struck me with an icy look when I called you perfect
I try to confine who you are into a category but I’ve realized how unfair that is
to use my own judgment as its own stereotype to subconsciously decide who you are
the aching of my heart is enough to realize you are not one dimensional
at least not to me
I wonder why the sun sets in your eyes when you tell me you get me
I bet it’s because you don’t understand yourself so you fix your focus on analyzing someone else
the rush of fireflies who with the exception of a surprising wave of anxiety, usually lay dormant
they light up with the sound of your sweet voice

some loud thoughts for my loud love for you:
a whiff of your lavender curls leaves me utterly intoxicated
along with your butterfly kisses
how does your hand fit perfectly into mine?
my thirst for you is truly unquenchable

I have an unshakeable aching in my heart
I have an aching in my heart for you
I have an aching in my heart because of you
I have an aching in my heart because I am nothing to you anymore
I have an aching in my heart thinking about you
am I really your only source of feeling something like you say I am?
I can’t understand why your attention is only crafted for me
I didn’t think I was special enough for some like you
like dirt
like the disregarded person I have now realized I am
absolute filth are the words you said that sting my face
every heart-wrenching day I wake up without the smell of you
plastered on my neck

shaky breaths
seem to pair well with dry eyes
and my untouched skin.
under the bright moonlight
I finally realized I have become obsolete
I placed my hand on yours
along with my heart
I gave you everything and now just like my dying hope
my heart has just about given up
Please, Rosemary, recite this every day.
I will be better.
I will not let my heart get soft for just anyone.
I know better now and I will not be wounded by someone else’ desires.
I am hurt but I am still strong.